My wife was part of the organization Best Buddies International for several years. The basics of the program are that each special needs individual has an assigned "buddy" who does not have special needs.The official vision of Best Buddies is:
"To put Best Buddies out of business. Best Buddies envisions a world where people with IDD are so successfully integrated into schools, workplaces and communities that its current efforts and services will be unnecessary. Until that vision becomes a reality, the organization will continue to educate middle school, high school and college students, community members, corporations and employers about the emotional, functional, and natural needs and abilities of people with IDD."
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| By Michael Chen |
The volunteer buddies and the organization as a whole want the individuals to have friendships which are as normal as possible, and yet there are assigned buddies instead of more naturally arising friendships. In many cases, neither the individuals nor the volunteers know yet how to interact and create friendships in a totally natural way without some people being left friendless. Hence, the goal of totally natural and voluntarily chosen friendships is aimed at by implementing a program that is in some sense not natural or voluntary. It’s a short-term method that is a little contradictory to the long-term goal.
A better known example of having a short-term method that seems somewhat contradictory to the long-term goal are policies due to our history of race discrimination. A large majority of people agree that color-blindness (regarding race, not optics) is a worthy goal: to “live in a nation where [people] will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” MLK. But the proponents of affirmative action contend that reaching that point involves a few decades of dealing directly with racial wounds which were created from centuries of systematic and oppressive discrimination. Reaching that goal may require policies directed only at black people, in order to reach the point where there is no longer the need to deal with racial problems so systematically.
Long-term spiritual goals may also require some seemingly contradictory short-term plans. When I think about who I want to be, I think about Jesus Christ and men who have seemed to really care about me, like my dad and my Priesthood leaders. They seem to care much more about my life than about their needs. I could certainly use some direct application of the Savior’s invitation to lose my life, or forget myself. But sometimes when I try to forget myself by myself I find myself in a downward spiral of frustration. However, when I aim at my goal of being selfless by focusing on my relationship with the Savior, I feel peace and am a lot more successful. Therefore, focusing in on my relationship with the Savior is a more specific method that helps me to reach the much more difficult and long-term goal of having Christ-like love towards everyone.
Another spiritual example is faithfully obeying. As disciples, or students, of Jesus Christ, we “may sometimes be required to do things [we] do not completely understand.” This is not because we strive to understand less, but to the contrary because we want to understand more. President Monson said, “A knowledge of truth and the answers to our greatest questions come to us as we are obedient to the commandments of God.” The best way to enlighten our minds is to keep the commandments of Jesus Christ, the Master Teacher.
Of course, our personal relationship with the Savior and obedience to Him will continue even after we reach our goal of becoming like Him.
In my life, I have found that as I focus on my relationship with the Savior I start to feel more love towards others. I have also found that the greatest learning that I have experienced has come as I have followed good principles, even when I don’t understand the purpose of the principles at first.
