Thoughts from a Truly Torn Voter: Trump, Biden, or Jorgensen

 I wish there were more sources of political information that were not strongly favoring one side. So I’m trying to contribute to that. I don’t know that I’ll offer much new information, but I can at least say that I’m not leaning strongly towards one party, so if you’re in the same boat, you might find this interesting. To prove that I am really torn, I’ll say that I’m mostly Republican and Libertarian but voted for Hillary Clinton in 2016. Different issues may be important to you and I am sure that you will consider many factors that I do not mention, so as you go through the exercise of thinking through each candidate holistically you may reach a different result (I’m still not quite sure of what result I’ll reach, but I think I will soon).

Now, if you have very strong feelings in the direction of one candidate, perhaps based on feelings against the other, I understand. Slight variations in the sources you trust and information you care about could easily lead to a strong opinion. I’m happy for you!

You may find this article extremely broad, and covering way more than allows any focus. But in our political system, don’t voters have to look at things very broadly? We have a citizenship duty to look at the huge spectrum of issues that exist, almost all of which we have no expertise in, and choose a candidate. 

My policy/ideology views are basically Republican, with the main exceptions being that 1) I want entry and legal status for refugees and other immigrants, and 2) I place even greater emphasis on low government spending than most Republicans. Another way to state my views is that they’re basically Libertarian, except I want the government to impose more restrictions on drug possession and abortion than most Libertarians. Integrity of the candidates being equal, I think I would generally vote Republican over Libertarian, at least in part because Libertarians are unlikely to win in the short run (more on that later).

Beyond the issues, looking at a person’s integrity or moral character is important. One reason is that it is indicative of how true the candidate will be to the candidate’s professed good-will towards the country. Additionally, everybody has some expertise in judging moral character. As we strive to improve our own character and ponder good character qualities, we (often excessively) notice the character of others. In choosing a candidate, these observations are helpful. Hence, with my limited knowledge, I have analyzed both the policy views and character of the candidates. 

Regarding what I have called character, I have looked at evidence of what the candidate does outside of the public eye, which inherently is harder to discern the facts of. The character-related information from the links I have inserted is unpleasant, and I only put in the links so that you can look more into it if you think it will help you make a better voting decision.

President Trump

President Trump is a little worse than most Republicans in that he emphasizes limiting all immigration (including that of refugees), he has been less free-trade oriented, and his family values and behavior definitely seem worse. Additionally, rather than addressing the concerns of my favorite politician, Arizona Republican Jeff Flake, President Trump called the former senator “flakey” for sticking to his values and not just following the party. President Trump has, as I personally expected and hoped, cut certain regulations. His administration has consistently supported cuts to the federal K-12 education budget. (See https://www.americanprogress.org/issues/education-k-12/news/2020/02/11/480384/trumps-k-12-education-budget/.) But like George W. Bush, President Trump has increased the government debt. Part of that is due to what I think is excessive military spending.

I think that behavior in family relationships is very indicative of a person’s character, which will affect our country. “[W]hen the wicked rule the people mourn. Wherefore, honest men and wise men should be sought for diligently, and good men and wise men ye should observe to uphold; otherwise whatsoever is less than these cometh of evil.” Doctrine and Covenants 98:9-10.

So, related to that, I think the evidence is clear, coming from President Trump’s former attorney Michael Cohen as an inherent part of a guilty plea to a crime, that President Trump paid money to a pornography model in order for her to keep their affair a secret. I would hope that President Trump would show an example of repentance after something like that, and he has not. Instead, he unconvincingly argues that nothing illegal was done, when in fact there are larger questions than just whether a campaign law was broken. The following is an interview with President Trump on the topic: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2019/01/28/trumps-fantasy-claim-that-michael-cohens-hush-money-payments-were-no-crime/.

While other claims of sexual misconduct do not have as much proof as the Michael Cohen incident, I think many of them are likely true. If he did not do the acts, then I do not blame him for simple denials. However, some of his responses are highly disrespectful. Regarding a recording of him speaking inappropriately of women, and potentially admitting to misconduct, he said they were “just words.” Regardless of the exact acts he has done, he could do a lot of good in the world by emphasizing that words and actions in our relationships are important. This article puts together the accusations: https://www.businessinsider.com/women-accused-trump-sexual-misconduct-list-2017-12.

I was concerned enough about President Trump’s character that I voted for Hillary Clinton. In President Trump’s defense, I will say he has done better than I expected: We are not much more at war than before, the economy has done well given the circumstances, and he nominated Supreme Court justices who share some originalist/textualist views with me and write clear opinions. While I do not regret voting for Hillary Clinton (because I like having a point of commonality with my liberal friends), in these ways I am happy Donald Trump won. 

And I do agree that media outlets which I used to view as middle-of-the-road, like the Washington Post, are wildly biased against him. For example, criticism regarding his treatment of the coronavirus situation has been constant, but I think he has been relatively level-headed and I do not really know what people have expected of him.

But my faith in the importance of living God’s commandments, and the eventual effect that living honestly has on our decision-making, still makes me very hesitant to support him. Given the specific character-related concerns with President Trump, it might send a nice message if President Trump were to lose but Republicans were to keep control of the Senate or gain the House, a result that is uncommon since voters for the president usually vote for the same party for Congress.

Joe Biden

Joe Biden has fairly standard Democrat views, though unfortunately with immigration, where I agree with the Democratic Party the most, he is less inclined to focus on immigrants than most Democratic candidates. So he doesn’t get many points with me for policy views, except that he is less extreme regarding large government spending than some, like Bernie Sanders. For me, perhaps the scariest things about Democratic nominees generally are their nominees to the Supreme Court. Those people will be on the Court a long time and can do a lot of good or harm in terms of protecting religious liberties, checking the government in constitutionally appropriate ways, and allowing democracy to continue strong.

A woman named Tara Reade worked for Joe Biden’s office decades ago and alleges that he sexually assaulted her. She gives her story in an interview with Megyn Kelly:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HeZiKvOA0o. She alleges having told some people about it when it happened, which helps her credibility. Additionally, I give some credit to the story based upon the fact that the interviewer, Megyn Kelly, is thought to have left Fox News for not being more supportive of President Trump. So I don’t think the story is just part of a news attempt at helping President Trump win. If the story is true, then it shows a serious lack of respect for others, respect that I expect our president to have. Hence, if it is true, then I can’t give him clear character points over President Trump. The number of accusations against President Trump is greater, but their failure to accept responsibility is the same. Joe Biden has at least made some comments that such women, including his main accuser, should be listened to. 

Of course, if they did not do the acts, then I would not expect either of them to accept responsibility, so it is a difficult situation. Essentially, I feel about 60% confident that they are guilty of the most serious accusations against them. And I feel 95% confident that President Trump is also guilty of the less serious accusations against him. It may seem silly to throw out numbers like that, but throwing out those numbers is my effort to pay appropriate attention to the accusations.

Jo Jorgensen

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Jo_Jorgensen.jpg

Jo Jorgensen, the Libertarian candidate, is probably the most in line with my policy views. She emphasizes small government much more than either party and thinks that both people and goods should flow across borders freely. With reference to other Libertarians, although she still supports drug legalization, she does not make it her number one platform like 2016 Libertarian Gary Johnson often did.

Jo Jorgensen doesn’t think that the government should interfere with abortions, but she says that she personally does not agree with it. “Keep the government out of it. No subsidies, no regulations,” she said. Saying “no subsidies” could mean she opposes federal funding going towards it. Since states, not the federal government, have traditionally been who regulates abortion, her comment about no regulations may not have too harmful of consequences. Overall, she is a step above most Democratic candidates on the issue.

I am not really sure what kind of people Libertarians would nominate to the U.S. Supreme Court. I could see them wanting originalists for the fact that originalists may view the Constitution as supporting a small federal government, but I could also see them wanting to enforce individual rights more strongly against state governments (stopping state regulations on abortions). I don’t know that I can see even Republican nominees reversing something like Roe v. Wade, and so a Libertarian nominee who is likely to allow the president to cut back on programs like Planned Parenthood might be the best to hope for in a Supreme Court nominee regarding abortion. A libertarian might also be more protective of religious liberties, since that is protecting from government power. However, President Trump’s nominees have already been pretty good on those points, so he probably wins over the wildcard nature of the nominees that Jo Jorgensen may choose.

At this point, I have not found much negative or positive to say about Jo Jorgensen’s character.

While I would most like Jo Jorgensen to win, I do view her third-party status as a major negative. On the one hand, I know that people having the mindset that third parties cannot win is part of the reason that third parties cannot win. On the other hand, I think it’s clear that I shouldn’t vote for my dad or best friend (assuming they were willing) for president, even if I think they are better for the job than anybody else I can think of. It is reasonable to form groups and funnel support in order to accomplish goals that line up with our ideologies, and the smaller groups should often merge with larger ones to accomplish their goals. Our system happens to favor just two major groups, and I don’t think efforts towards electing a Libertarian will ever lead to a libertarian winning. However, I do think that votes for the Libertarian party send a message to Republican and Democratic candidates to line up their behavior more with the Libertarian ideology in order to win votes from those who will vote Libertarian if the Democratic and Republican candidates are too non-Libertarian.

How to View the Result

At all times, and especially after the president has been chosen, I think that the candidates should be spoken of with some level of respect. I think we can do a lot more good, and maintain some harmony, if we “unite with the voice of the people” to some extent. We sometimes may worry that we will be associated with the evils of a bad government if we are not loudly and rudely oppositional to as many aspects of a bad president as possible. But the most influential voices in my life are soft, gentle, and kind-hearted. For example, my wife’s example of love towards our children affects me much more, and certainly much more positively, than all the negative things I have heard about bad parenting. Perhaps the corollary for good citizens and politics is thinking of and suggesting innovative actions and simplifications for the government, either through messages to our representatives or in public discussion. We could also criticize with a bit more acknowledgment of our leaders being human. In addition to the future president being human, he or she will have had the support of tens of millions of fellow Americans, and acknowledging the views and desires of those people is also appropriate. Avoiding “the spirit of contention” is extremely hard to do while pursuing other righteous goals, but I think it is worth it, for our own inner happiness and for our relationships with others.

For many years, I have felt a great sense of community with my fellow members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Our common goals give me great excitement. Likewise, I have found community and safe feelings in various apartment complexes, neighborhoods, and employment situations. In all of these situations, speaking of Christ has increased unity and happiness. From some things I have read and heard, various States and the United States generally have had times of greater unity, and I think it is unfortunate that when I think of the country of a whole I mostly think of division. While I do not know if directly speaking of Christ in our political discussions will often increase national unity at this point, I believe that respecting all as Christ’s example has shown could move us in the direction of an improved national community.

That being said, please comment and share your own thoughts on the candidates. Also, I would be happy to talk with you about the reasons behind some of my policy views, and to learn about your thoughts. I wish you the best as you weigh the factors that matter most to you, and I hope we can get along despite the different values, views, and results that we have.

Anxiety Part II: A Pep-Talk on Praying, Exercising, Planning & Talking to Deal with Your Anxiety

This is my second blog article about anxiety. My first was about discovering how nice it is to have a better name for what I used to just think of as a dislike of moral dilemmas. Since writing that article, I have been listening to a very good parenting audiobook, The Whole-Brain Child, which summarized the principle of my first article nicely -- "name it to tame it." It explained that our brains measurably calm down when we have a name for a difficult thing. For parenting, that might mean helping your child talk about a scary or otherwise hard experience. In my situation, naming some of my fears and worries and stresses "anxiety" has tamed or calmed me a little, helping me to temper some of those powerful emotional issues with some more logic. The name helps me see the issue as separate from myself, or at least as just a part of myself, and not as the definition of who I am. I can use my knowledge of and experiences with anxiety to propel me to good works and joy, and not as an enslaving burden.

In this article, I am going to give ideas, besides just having a name, to deal with the heavy-worry-in-your-chest panicked feeling that I have called anxiety. I have come up with these ideas mostly in contexts that involve decision-making, though I think the ideas also apply to other anxieties as well, such as the anxiety that I sometimes have about catching a cold or COVID-19 at a time when I am planning to see at-risk people.

My ideas fit into the mnemonic PEP-Talk: Pray, Exercise/Energize, and Planning & Talking. I will now go through each of these in detail.

Pray
I sometimes have found myself thinking "I feel so stressed about this decision. I can't wait for my evening prayer so I can feel some peace." A talk by President Henry B. Eyring helped me to see I should immediately pray. He talks about how resistance came when Joseph Smith (a prophet of God) was about to pray. I have also found that things come up stopping me from praying when I most need to. This is what President Eyring said:

“To me, an important lesson comes from Joseph’s response to Satan’s assault as Joseph knelt to pray.

I know from experience that Satan and his servants try to make us feel that we must not pray. When Joseph Smith exerted all his powers to call upon God to deliver him from the power that tried to bind him, his prayer for relief was answered and Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ appeared.

Satan’s attempt to thwart the beginning of the Restoration was so severe because Joseph’s prayer was so important. You and I will have smaller parts to play in the ongoing Restoration. Yet the enemy of the Restoration will try to stop us from praying. The example of Joseph’s faith and his determination can strengthen us in our resolve.”

I've known for a long time that I can and should call out to God in my heart anytime, in public or private. But I have been blessed by seeking private refuge and prayer more immediately than waiting for my routine prayer. Often, I immediately feel great peace. Other times, I feel some peace. Sometimes, the answer to my anxiety about making a decision can be solved by making a decision. Other times, I need to wait until I have more information before I can make a decision. It is hard to wait patiently, but with practice I believe I will improve.

Exercise
I think exercise is pretty standard advice for anxiety. I'll just add that, though a regular time is probably best, if you struggle to exercise regularly, try just breaking into silly dance when you're anxious. My wife has come up with a fun spirits-changing song that might accompany your silly dance: "I…...feel…...gloomy! Gloomy! Ohhhh I feel gloomy" with a banjo twang. Feel free to substitute "anxious" for "gloomy."

Another connected e-word is Energize. While acting perkier than I feel often doesn't break me out of an anxious situation, when the hard situation inevitably ends, I am grateful when I manage to prove that I can be uplifting to others even when I am facing a difficult situation.

Planning and Talking
Planning and talking (usually to myself or with my wife) are very broad ideas that I use to find an appropriate approach to the details of each anxiety-inducing situation. Different situations may call for very different approaches. I will give an example where I think the best approach for me was to further pay attention to anxious feelings and base decisions on them, and an example where the best approach for me was to further dismiss my anxious feelings.

I used to stress and feel guilt about media like movies and t.v. shows, not knowing what media was perhaps damaging my sensitivity and ability to feel the Holy Spirit. Missionaries for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints generally do not watch any movies or t.v. shows, or at least their standards for what is appropriate are very high. So during my 2011-2013 mission to Guatemala, I didn’t watch any movies or t.v. shows, and consequently I did not stress about related decisions. Upon returning to the United States, I decided to continue with a standard of pickiness regarding media that was so high that it kept anxiety-inducing borderline movies out of the picture. At some point I found a scripture to relate my feelings of freedom that I have from former feelings of anxiety on the topic of movies, and I re-experience the joy of conquering this anxiety-inducing situation each time I read it:

“Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.

And the Messiah cometh in the fulness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall. And because that they are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law at the great and last day, according to the commandments which God hath given.

Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.

And now, my sons, I would that ye should look to the great Mediator, and hearken unto his great commandments; and be faithful unto his words, and choose eternal life, according to the will of his Holy Spirit;” -2 Nephi 2:25-28

In some sense you might say I believed, or treated as valid to some extent, my anxious feelings in this media situation. I found a solution for myself that has made those anxious feelings disappear for years. Now, if you read this and are just left wondering what exact standards are the ones that will leave you never wondering, then you might be an anxious person like me who I am hoping to help with this article. So follow these principles--talk to yourself and a loved one about some healthy standards that you feel are in line with God’s will, and pray about it. If you feel that you are still regularly coming across anxiety-inducing decisions, then talk and pray about a different plan to see if that works.

In another situation I felt anxious when somebody asked me to mark a form in a way that I felt was not entirely honest. The person asking was a well-meaning and honest person, but it seemed clear to me that I could not mark the form as requested and feel good about it. After counseling with my wife, I decided to talk openly with the person about my feelings. Though the initial chat was awkward, the result was that I was no longer asked to mark that form, and I felt much happier with that person after that.

On the other hand, sometimes I need to chat with my wife and get talked down from a perspective that something is required by morality. For example, I may be interpreting a work policy in an extreme way, or I may be insisting on continued repentance focused on a mistake that I really just need to leave in the past. In these situations, I am giving less credence to my feelings of anxiety.

Another way in which planning and talking has helped my anxiety is by role-playing scary unknown situations with my wife. The first days or weeks of new jobs are stressful for me, and I sometimes anticipate them with dread. Something helpful with my past few jobs has been brain-storming and sometimes practicing things I could say in response to dilemmas that arise when I feel that something I am being asked to do is not quite right. This makes upcoming jobs seem less unknown and reduces my fear.

Conclusion
Confronting my anxiety head-on, with innovative solutions, and with firm hope in Christ has helped me to love God more and to have better relationships with those around me. I know it can be discouraging, and that hope can seem very wispy at times. I hope you find these tips helpful, and I encourage you to remember to find power in making and keeping covenants (special promises to follow God, like through baptism) with God. Covenants and God’s power are firm, even when our minds are less so. Thanks for reading and please share any thoughts you have!

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is Sweet

I recently wrote the following song, which captures the most joyful, basic, and comforting parts of the gospel of Jesus Christ for me:

I love Jesus, He loves me; That's what the scriptures say,
He bled and died and rose again- oh happy, happy day!

Jesus helps my fam'ly live together happily,
To be more kind and sweet and share my time more willingly.

I love Jesus, He has conquered all that I might fear!
Thoughts of sin and death are weak when the Spirit's voice I hear.

I commented to my wife on a recent Saturday that something that I like about the lyrics is the emphasis created by “kind and sweet;” using two similar words gives more force to what I have found most important in having a happy daily family life. I also said I wondered if scriptures don’t talk about the concept of sweetness very much, perhaps due to cultural differences during scriptural times. The day after that discussion with my wife, during our family reunion sacrament meeting, my family sang the song I wrote, which was a real treat for me.

Remarkably, two other songs were sung during that family reunion sacrament meeting which included the word sweet. One was “I Know That My Redeemer Lives. (“I know that my Redeemer lives. What comfort this sweet sentence gives! . . . Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives . . .”) The other was “Voices” (“I hear the still small voice clear and sweet”), sung by the five young mothers in my family (my wife, three sisters, and sister-in-law). The adults’ and children’s attention was captured by their powerful, confident, and sweet singing. It was inspiring to think of the strong and large combined influence that the mothers have through their individual efforts with their children.

As I noted the prominence of sweetness in our sacrament meeting, I began to rethink my earlier theory that the scriptures do not really show the prominence of sweetness in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I have come to think that the gospel of Jesus Christ, as taught by both ancient and modern writings, is sweet. It is sweet like a nursing mother, giving parents, a good husband, and delicious honey and fruit. The following scriptures help me think that:

Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Isaiah 49:15; 1 Nephi 21:15.

Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! Matthew 7:9-11; 3 Nephi 14:9-11.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. Ephesians 5:25.

Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart. Doctrine & Covenants 42:22.

How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! Psalm 119:103. 

I beheld a tree, whose fruit was desirable to make one happy. And it came to pass that I did go forth and partake of the fruit thereof; and I beheld that it was most sweet, above all that I ever before tasted. . . [T]hat tree of life, whose fruit is most precious and most desirable above all other fruits . . . is the greatest of all the gifts of God. 1 Nephi 8:10-15:36.

Delicious gluten-free carrot cake that Melanie and Ginny made for me, and yes,
there is surely massive disarray in the surrounding kitchen.

I observed something else related to sweetness during my family reunion. I individually asked the married men/fathers in my family what advice they had related to helping one’s wife be calm and happy in motherhood.

Their advice was very humble, helpful, and sweetly affectionate towards their wives. I think we often see extra sweetness in women, especially as related to their innate connection to small children, but the gospel of Jesus Christ will produce sweetness in both women and men.

The more I learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ, the more I come to see Heavenly Father as my sweet, loving Father. A few days ago, I read some entries in my journal from my mission to Guatemala (from nine years ago!). I certainly had excitement about the gospel, but I believe that my view of the gospel of Jesus Christ was too fear-related. After my mission, I think that my wife's example and teaching, along with our experience as parents, has helped me understand that Heavenly Father is my Father, with all the goodness and sweetness associated with fathers. And as a perfect being, He is the sweetest and kindest Father that we can possibly imagine.

Anxiety and COVID-19 Laws

COVID-19 laws have made more pronounced a problem that I have had for several years. I'll talk about that problem generally first, and then about COVID-19 specifically.

In the past month or so I decided to start referring to a certain aspect of my life as “anxiety.” I am doing so not so much to help others understand me, though that hopefully happens too, but to understand myself. Previously, rather than talking about anxiety I just talked about how I don’t like moral dilemmas. However, that phrasing risks misunderstanding the fact that I love morality, as taught by God’s commandments. 

God’s commandments bless me, each of them individually and all of them collectively. Many of my blog articles point out ways I have received blessings from specific commandments. And striving to live all of God’s commandments brings me peace and helps me to progress. 

Determining what behavior each commandment requires in my individual circumstances, however, is not fun to me. In some situations, I feel panicked and almost incapacitated as I determine what my moral obligation is. 

For many years, it has been the case once the decision is over and irreversible, I feel at peace. And if I feel that I did not do my best to make a good decision, then I repent, and through the Atonement of Jesus Christ I feel peace. I do not feel guilty or agonize about whether the past decision was correct or not. I figure I did my best and just feel grateful that the decision is no longer in front of me. However, I can (or at least did) sometimes feel as though I only make good decisions in order to minimize my anxiety, since I feel more anxiety when I’m going in the direction I believe is wrong than when I’m going in the direction I believe is right.

Unfortunately, my new label “anxiety” has not eliminated difficulty in decision-making. However, here are five things it has done: 

1) I no longer blame God for these difficulties. He does not give me decision-making stress by sending me commandments. Rather, He gives me helpful commandments, respects my freedom to choose, and as part of my challenging and educational mortal experience that I chose to have here on Earth, I sometimes have to deal with “anxiety” as I navigate His commandments and my freedom.

2) I have come to learn that what I can control is my attitude regarding my anxiety. Perhaps, as a mixture of blessing and curse (burden? trial? challenge?), my anxiety compels me to make certain good choices. But my anxiety does not compel me to make good decisions cheerfully, with gratitude towards God and goodwill towards those around me. So, by slapping a smile on my naturally indecision-tortured face, I can know that I’m going the extra mile, because I love God and want my attitude to be a blessing to those around me.

3) I recognize that my anxiety (formerly called moral dilemmas as discussed above, which may help this point make more sense) does not make me better or worse than anybody else. Agonizing more than most about what is right does not mean I am more righteous than others, which would be both a painful and prideful situation. Rather, I know that part of the glorious learning that God has planned for me involves dealing with anxiety with as much grace and love as I can.

4) Having a label helps me to find resources for dealing with anxiety more easily and to connect with the experiences of others who I have heard use the label “anxiety.”

5) Most importantly, I have learned to rely on Christ not only for mistakes, over which I may focus too much sometimes, but to help me with the unsinful “affliction” of anxiety. I better understand why the latter-day Apostle David A. Bednar emphasizes that Christ does not just redeem us from sin, but rather He suffered “pains and afflictions and temptations” so that He can “succor his people according to their infirmities.” See Alma 7:11-12.

Anxiety with the Law

Now don’t think you’re getting away with just hearing about my problems and how I can deal with them. I have also thought of how the world might change to accomodate me and my problems. Semi-kidding (kidding because I know that’s a silly thing to say, not kidding because I’m now going to share the thoughts that I kiddingly said I would share.)

A broadly sweeping commandment that I believe God has given is to obey the law of the land. With the suddenness and pervasiveness of COVID-19 guidelines and laws, I have experienced considerable anxiety regarding how to act, and I don't think I'm alone. (But the extra family time has been nice!)

Governor Little on the Twin Falls County Courthouse steps

Business Regulations

With covid-19 laws regulating businesses, obviously there is an economic tradeoff for businesses being closed, and striking that balance is a difficult task. I can’t imagine the anxiety some must have felt and be feeling due to a lack of employment. Those laws have been enforced, and their effects were measurable and felt by all. Due to the widespread negative effects of those laws, I believe there was appropriate resistance to those laws. Lawmakers presumably take into account complaints about unemployment and concerns regarding COVID-19, and try to strike a balance accordingly. I don’t really have an opinion about whether the business shutdowns went too far or not far enough. (But if you do, let me know!)

Social/Private Regulations

COVID-19 laws regulating more private, social behavior are very different, because I don’t believe they were enforced. While at least some of the official orders stated that violations could be punished as misdemeanors, I doubt that law enforcement knocked on anybody’s door to make sure only household members were present. I would be even more surprised if anybody was punished for who they socialized with or for not being six feet from others, despite the fact that violations were surely common.

A problem with unenforced laws is that people who don’t feel an obligation to obey the laws do not mind them. Therefore, there is a disproportionately small amount of resistance to those laws’ problems. So ridiculous situations might arise, like people considering becoming part of the same household in order to meet the criteria of only being with those of the same household, even though increased household sizes would defeat the germ isolation purpose of the laws. Those who want to obey laws regardless of “getting caught” will either abide by laws they think are misguided or feel guilty by not doing so. More likely, they’ll do an awkward mix of those two options.

Something COVID-19 has not messed with is the Pride and Prejudice book club I'm doing with some family!

Part of the “rule of law” that good societies enjoy is that laws are regularly enforced. The laws are also made democratically, meaning most people find the laws to be useful to society, and so people want the laws enforced. 

In the rare situations when lawmakers do not think that a certain policy is really enforceable (like when it involves individuals’ very private lives), I think it should be called a guideline. Additionally, the relatively vague terms like “reasonable” or “disregarding substantial risks” could be used more often, whether in guidelines or laws. (I think it would be better for COVID-19 laws to be something like this: “Do not associate with any individuals outside of your household unless you are reasonably certain that they have not been around large gatherings or people with covid-19.” Or “Disregarding substantial risks as related to interactions with at-risk individuals is punishable as a misdemeanor.”) 

These terms allow people to do what they think is reasonable and not feel anxious about whether they’re disobeying the law. While such terms may seem easily abusable, they are already often used in the law. In order to win a lawsuit, a person often has to prove that the defendant had a duty to act like a “reasonable person” in a certain situation and that the defendant failed to do so. The jury determines whether the person behaved reasonably, and so people can’t use a feigned subjective belief that their unreasonable behavior was reasonable, because the jury decides. Thus, if a person’s anxiety is about whether they will be found guilty by the court system of breaking a law, then such phrasing in the law will not help. But for those who feel anxious because they believe we should obey all laws, even those we don’t think make perfect sense, including terms like “reasonable” or “disregarding substantial risks” can still allow the government to send a message yet not risk imposing ill-fitting or inappropriate laws that are insufficiently resisted since only a few people pay attention to them.

I would sincerely love to hear your thoughts on what I’ve shared regarding the law. Additionally, perhaps seeing and critiquing my specific law analysis can help you and me to realize that political laws will never be perfect, and so anxious and non-anxious people alike can best focus their attention on Jesus Christ, who will help us as we try to improve and live in this imperfect world. I am at the beginning of a journey in which, with Christ’s comforting and inspiring help, I will learn to handle my anxiety better. For now, it’s nice to have a word for it so that I can learn more and express these ideas.  

See https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/get-help/mental-health for helpful mental health information.

Phases of Busy

My first year of college I had a professor, a very nice person, who was talking to us about how we all feel busy. I don't recall his wording, but my recollection is that he concluded the discussion by expressing that he was the most busy of all of us and that we should brace ourselves for being busier in the future. I should not have been offended, but some offense plus some other factors led me to recall that lecture somewhat vividly. I thought "I cannot be any busier, I literally feel like there are always multiple things I should be doing; how can I be busier than always busy?"

That class was not unique in its perspective; people sometimes talk like it is unquestionable that you get way busier when you become a parent. With this article, I hope to sympathize with and perhaps give some hope and advice to people who already feel very busy and feel that things will only get worse.

Basically, my thought is that, starting somewhere in our mid-teen years, we become busy in almost every phase of life, but there are different kinds of busy. And there are ways to reasonably handle the busyness in every phase.

How I learned to slow down

As a single college student, I worried about who to go on dates with, what classes to take, getting good grades, career path choices, whether to work, how much to work, how much to socialize, how to best serve in my congregation of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, how much time to spend with family, how much to clean my apartment, and what and how many university club-style activities to do. 

Jumping to my current stage, as a working father of a two-year-old and newborn, I worry about kids, my wife, and my service assignments with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. That's about it. Work and the other things sort of settle into place without as much worry. 

Or perhaps the constant and massive pressures of children squeeze out room for other worries.

But despite children demanding almost constant attention while awake (and sometimes being awake when we all wish we were sleeping), in many ways my life slowed down when we had children. 

Prior to having children, both as singles and as childless spouses, my wife and I filled as many nights as existed with social events, working on projects, or staying up late chatting. Once we had Ginny, we became so tired that we realized that we simply had to cut back. At first we just didn’t do anything, and that was easy and expected because of the brand new newborn. When we started socializing too much again, we started reserving Tuesday and Thursday evenings (in addition to Monday evenings that have always been family nights) as evenings to not plan anything with other people. Now, either because we have fewer friends or have just acquired the habit, we tend to have a few free evenings a week, even without dramatically blocking out certain days.

With regard to callings/assignments in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we schedule more than we used to, which helps to avoid constantly fretting or being distracted from other tasks. I typically use a chunk of time on Sunday mornings to complete tasks related to serving the young men Aaronic Priesthood holders that I am assigned to help, and I love that time and the time I spend with them at church.

My children help me to slow down, not only through their demands, but through the Spirit I feel with them. They help me think about God. Elder D. Todd Christofferson beautifully portrayed the need to think about Jesus, the most important baby, in quiet ways. He pointed out how we do need to think about the big picture, but also cherish precious moments:

"When we talk about the birth of Jesus Christ, we appropriately reflect on what was to follow. His birth was infinitely significant because of the things He would experience and suffer so that He might ­better succor us—all culminating in His Crucifixion and Resurrection (see Alma 7:11–12). . . . [But I also] think it’s appropriate this time of year to just think about that baby in the manger. Don’t be too overwhelmed or occupied with what is to come. . . . Take a quiet, peaceful moment to ponder the beginning of His life . . . Do not be too concerned or overwhelmed with what is coming in His life or in yours. Instead, take a peaceful moment to contemplate perhaps the most serene moment in the history of the world—when all of heaven rejoiced with the message 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men' (Luke 2:14)."

I like my life better at this slower pace. I hope that I have learned and applied a little better God’s word to “be still, and know that I am God,” and “see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent . . .” Although many of my frenzies of activity before having children were what I thought were diligent efforts to be a good student, person etc., I believe slowing down has helped me to be more diligent about what matters most.

While my life feels slowed-down since having children, many parents feel that their lives do become busier upon becoming parents, mainly because their “downtime” becomes less down. For example, my wife might not say that her life has slowed down overall since having children, but it is a different kind of busy. She has become more aware of the benefits of quiet time and more capable of creating at least some of it even in trying circumstances. She values more than ever before some uninterrupted personal scripture study time, though she does not get as much of that time as she might hope for.

How anybody can slow down

The way I learned about slowing down was through my children, through the necessity of better organizing my life to handle their demands and through the desire I have to enjoy their sweet spirits.

But some people won’t have children in this life for varying reasons. For some, marriage won’t work out, and even for some married couples, having children won’t work out. I can actually relate to some people in those circumstances. I worried some about whether I would get married and have kids because I was, and in some ways still am, more attracted to men than to women. (Happy to tell you more of my story with this if you would like.) I am grateful that it did work out for me, but I would hope that if I had not had the blessing of marriage and children that I would still have learned to slow down. I hope for that same blessing of slowing down for everyone, no matter their current family situation.

I have learned two basic strategies that help me slow down, and I think they would be helpful to anybody’s current phase of busy: better scheduling and some focused “letting go.”

I think scheduling life is necessary for anybody who feels like they have infinite goals but finite time and capacity to productively think about multiple things at once. That is how I feel. It's good to think about Jesus all the time, but we don’t need to think about every assignment and goal all at once, even when all those assignments and goals are good things. So while you’re working on one goal, don’t feel bad about lack of progress with any other goal. Sometimes you need to do some pruning that allows some branches of your life to flourish at just the right moment.

Letting go of our own wills and accepting God’s not only helps us to slow down, but brings us closer to our loving Heavenly Father. The details of how that is implemented may involve letting go, during certain moments, of some of the following: the internet, being “right,” church calling concerns, reputation concerns, cleanliness, and even food. Of course, blocking those things out entirely would make us backward, undecided, inactive, unknown, messy, and hungry people, which is obviously not the goal. But trying to think about and do all those things at once, unwilling to drop any, makes life too busy.

So try to slow down and connect with God, during whatever phase of busy you might be in.

I’ll conclude with a quote by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf, made into an epic inspirational video that my wife has memorized and tried to make her life mantra: 

"We would do well to slow down a little, proceed at the optimum speed for our circumstances . . . Strength comes not from frantic activity but from being settled on a firm foundation of truth and light. It comes from placing our attention and efforts on the basics of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. . . [D]iligently doing the things that matter most will lead us to the Savior of the world."

For me, focusing on the things that matter most, like my relationship with God and family members, has not been second nature. I have sometimes been drawn to engaging in flurries of busyness in order to stay upbeat, and there are endless opportunities to get lost in busyness. But I believe that trying to go slow and trusting in the basics of the gospel will work in every phase of busy, and has improved my relationships and brought me joy.

Voting for Pete Buttigieg

I am certainly happy that we have a secret ballot to avoid people getting threatened or bribed to vote a certain way, but I find elections difficult and appreciate learning how people I know are voting, so I am explaining my vote. And I certainly do not intend to threaten or bribe with this article ; )

I changed my voter registration to the democratic party (deadline is approaching) and plan to vote for Pete Buttigieg. Then, if he wins and depending on additional information I acquire, I would vote for him in the general election. Hopefully his moderate fiscal policies will even create some unity between some Democrats and Republicans, and perhaps the Iowa voters were aiming for that when they chose him--choosing someone that could get enough support to defeat the incumbent President Trump.

Choosing between Democrats and Republicans can be hard.

For me, his greatest advantage over President Trump, and likely over other Republicans, is that he supports helping refugees and others find belonging. His immigration page is entitled I Was a Stranger and You Welcomed Me.

His greatest advantage over other Democrats is that he acknowledges opportunity costs (the fact that spending money in one area limits other opportunities) and that he talks about religion. I agree that there should be a separation of church and state, but I think that means the government shouldn't sponsor one religion or force religion on people, and religious office shouldn't be a requirement for government leaders. Everybody in the United States should feel free to talk about scripture and love for God as motivating factors in the policies we promote. Jesus Christ's teachings are not somehow less appropriate in public discussions than, say, Socrates', just because religions have followed Jesus Christ.

I honestly do not fully understand what policies Pete Buttigieg will promote regarding the LGBTQ+ movement. I will be happy if upcoming policies promote respect and kindness towards all people, including people who identify as LGBTQ+. I hope they find excellent jobs and housing, and I could get behind some policies to that end.

Despite his religious references, Pete Buttigieg’s page on LGBTQ+ does promote stopping certain religious exemptions, with the intent to ensure freedom of religion is not freedom to discriminate. He wants Title IX, a piece of federal law that prohibits gender discrimination in schools, to be interpreted to accomodate transgender students. To some degree, some of this may make sense. However, I am uncomfortable with how it compares the situation to that of racial discrimination. The hateful racism that called for equality legislation is nothing like what drives me and those of my religion to support traditional marriage.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints published a document, “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” in 1995, which says that we are children "of heavenly parents," "marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God," and that "gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." I have observed leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints carefully my entire life, and they sincerely love God and their brothers and sisters. I personally have been blessed by God’s commandments relating to family, and those commandments do not stop me from loving my LGBTQ+ friends.

Another troubling aspect of his campaign for me is that he wants fewer restrictions on abortion. This troubles me because I believe fetuses are precious life and will become sweet babies, and my testimony of this is growing stronger.

These issues are very important to me, and so it may seem odd that I am still planning to vote for Pete Buttigieg. I hope that he will at least promote religious views being talked about openly, and that will be helpful. I support religious freedom for all. If somebody’s deeply held views about what is right and good from an eternal perspective collide with what I think is ideal policy, I want to cooperate to respect those important views.

Respecting those who support traditional marriage because of their religion is of great spiritual importance, and limiting abortion really is a life and death situation. At the same time, allowing in immigrants who are persecuted because of their religion and other reasons is also of spiritual and of life and death importance. This vote is the best balance I can think of as I try to honor some of the values that are most important to me.

Specializing In Your Children

Adam Smith, who is sometimes known as the "Father of Economics," taught about various benefits to specialization. One is that as you do something more, you become better at it and come up with innovative ideas that you wouldn’t come up with if your mind was always going back and forth between less-related tasks.

One way that a lawyer specializes is through learning a lot about one area of law, like criminal law, or to be even more specialized a lawyer might focus on criminal defense where the death penalty is being sought.

BUT that is not the only way that a lawyer can specialize. Lawyers deal with two main types of information, the law that applies to a certain client’s case and the facts of the case. For example, the law regarding a death penalty case would include various U.S. Supreme Court cases interpreting the 8th Amendment’s “cruel and unusual punishment” clause. The facts would be that Harold had a troubled childhood, allegedly killed somebody in such and such place at such and such time, and he does not want the death penalty because of x, y, and z.

It is common for a person to ask their lawyer who is working on  one type of legal issue to help with a new and different legal issue that arises, even if the lawyer is not known for being an expert in the area of law of the new issue. For example, you might ask the person who defended you against criminal charges to later help you with a contract or civil law suit that arises. Why? Because you trust the lawyer, and it’s helpful that the lawyer knows some of the facts about you, even if the lawyer will need to do extra research to understand the area of law.

Parenting has some interesting parallels. My wife and I want what’s best for our children, and yet the only specialists that we pay to help them so far are their doctor and dentist. We have never considered paying a potty-training expert, reading expert, singing expert, socializing expert, or an expert in helping children be good siblings. We do send our daughter to a nursery class for an hour on most Sundays, but honestly that is so that my wife and I can get spiritually fed, and we hope she is spiritually fed there but we would bring her there even if she wasn’t. We feel that we are the best mortals to teach her what she needs to know about her Heavenly Parents, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost.

Why aren’t we interested in experts in all those topics I mentioned earlier? Because what matters most is being an expert in our children themselves. Knowing what sort of tones, activities, loving touches, rewards, and discipline work with them will help us teach them all the basics of being a good human more effectively than hiring somebody who studied one of those areas for years at a university. Of course, we try to learn what we need to from prophets, studies on children, potty-training experts and so forth, but we are the ones who know them, and hopefully who have their trust.

I have learned George, with his unique personality, likes toys and being held more than textbooks.

Being an expert in a person won’t earn worldly renown, but it does build a beautiful relationship, and it allows teaching to happen with children who are new in the world and need somebody who knows them and who they can trust. Thinking about this has strengthened my testimony that children “need more of [our] time, not less.”