"Enjoy it while you can!"

People often say "enjoy it while you can." I suppose in high school I recall being told to prepare and not just enjoy life, but in college I was told "enjoy school, work is not that great." Then "enjoy your mission, when you do not have worldly responsibility and can just be spiritual," "enjoy being single, when you can date and have fun," "enjoy marriage while you don't have kids, it all changes with kids," and now "enjoy this phase of your child's life, it is way worse when they are teenagers."

I have started to join the ranks of urging enjoyment. Of the above statements, the one that rings true the most to me is to enjoy marriage before children (one of the perks of not having premarital sex is you do have at least some married time without children to focus on just helping each other). I love my daughter and her sweet spirit in a deep, spiritual, emotional, and otherwise special way -- I also like alone time with my wife, and our daughter limits that. I find myself wanting to tell our couple-friends who don't have kids that they should rejoice in every evening that they have -- enjoying alone time that my wife and I cherish ecstatically and work hard to achieve. I also want to tell young whipper-snappers to enjoy their perfect health - high energy with only 6 hours of sleep. (As a 26-year-old I am semi-teasing of course, but I have had tummy troubles recently and do not have high energy on low sleep.)

But isn't it a bit ironic (I hesitate to say "hypocritical" about a group I am part of) that whoever says "enjoy it while you can" is wistfully thinking of another time in their life, not enjoying their current phase of life? As I reflect on the glories of my past less-busy and more-healthy self, even while allegedly hoping that my friends will enjoy those phases while they can, I feel a bit gloomy. And I have found that I can instantly feel much happier if I live in the exact present, perhaps by looking out the bus window with a sense of gratitude and reverence, literally stopping to smell flowers, making my daughter smile, or doing whatever my wife would most like me to do in that moment (which is conveniently usually making my daughter smile).

So basically I think the words of the phrase "enjoy it while you can" are spot on, and so I will try to just immediately implement the advice when it comes and set aside my judgment and annoyance (except for during the occasional blog article).

Isn't reflection valuable though? And can't looking forward to the next phase of life be appropriate optimism? I believe in what Thomas S. Monson, former president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, said: "The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it."

cc

It is amazing how spot on this quote is for me. 

When I am thinking about the past in a way that is not purposeful learning, it seems to always make me gloomy. I have had some sweet times chatting with my wife about mourning the passage of time and about future worries, but those are good experiences because I am getting help to turn that gloom into learning and to avoid so much gloom in the first place. I am happy to say that I do not mourn the passage of time as often as I used to, and hence do not need as many of those pep talks. But when necessary, some talk and reflection with somebody trying to help me feel happy in the present is helpful.

My wife and I do enjoy thinking about the future even when it is not pure preparation, but that is probably enjoyable because it is purposeful "present" bonding with my wife to talk about the future, and usually there is some element of preparation to it. When my random babble turns into discussing the glories of our next phase of life, I am often stopped by my baby daughter's shrill expressions of her present needs. Or I realize that my time to get ahead on homework just disappeared. 

Well anyway, I better end this reflective blog so I can enjoy the present! I wish you the best in your efforts to "enjoy it while you can."