Effects of a Commandment to Abstain from Homosexual Relations

My religion has a commandment to abstain from homosexual relations and I know there are other
faiths with similar doctrine. How does that commandment affect the lives of devout members of
those religions who feel same-sex attraction? I think there are a lot of different kinds

of people in this category. When I was in college, I had a professor of family studies who said

that perhaps it makes more sense to discuss homosexualities rather than homosexuality, because

we simply don’t live in a binary world of homosexual and heterosexual. Even among people with an

equal degree of same-sex attraction, the way that attraction affects their potential ability to have a

healthy heterosexual relationship will vary greatly. My wife likes to say “there are as many kinds of

people as there are people (or dancers as there are dancers, or dogs as there are dogs, etc.”). But to

make my point clear, for this article I am just talking about two categories of people who want to follow this

commandment: those with same-sex attraction who feel that a heterosexual relationship will not work

and those with same-sex attraction who feel that a heterosexual relationship will work.

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1. Members with same-sex attraction who feel that a heterosexual relationship will not work

This is the more well known group. And perhaps it is well known because it demonstrates the life-

changing implications when a religion has a strong position regarding homosexual relations. A

religious prohibition against homosexual relations in this case means a life of celibacy--being single.

It is not an easy result to process for someone who thinks that marriage is one of the most beautiful

things in life. Many members of my church (and outside of it) are single for a number of reasons,

and they will say that there is a lot of joy that comes from Jesus Christ, service, work, and family,

but it is still difficult at times. I am not arguing it is not a very difficult result. However, I think the

existence of this group can cause people to forget about the effect of a religious prohibition against

homosexual relations on the second group, which I will discuss now.

2. Members with same-sex attraction who feel that a heterosexual relationship will work

More specifically, I am talking about people who are so attracted to their own sex that were it not for

this commandment, they would not marry somebody of the opposite sex. They have the physical
attraction to their own sex, but have enough attraction to the opposite sex that they know they can
make and keep a marriage commitment to somebody of the opposite sex. The effect of the

commandment on this group is that they may have a traditional marriage and probably children.

These members see a special joy that comes from the unique relationship between a man and a

woman, and are grateful to God that they can participate in the creation process. As mortals who

often give in to the urges of the present, they need a commandment from God to help them choose

a path that is better—long-term—than the path of their more carnal desires.

Conclusion: Why bring this up?

I think there are misunderstandings that religious people stand up for the traditional family for no good

reason. The existence of group number two is one good reason. I personally know some individuals

in group two who are happy and grateful for the path they chose to follow. Reflecting on their

experiences helps me reconcile the knowledge I have of Heavenly Father’s love with this

commandment. Those who have this commandment may feel more free to choose the course of

their life than somebody who, perhaps at a young age, becomes involved in homosexual

relationships and finds pursuing a traditional marriage more difficult. In sharing my beliefs here, I

hope I have not offended, but if I have, I hope you’ll feel comfortable approaching me to talk about it.

I do believe that the commandment to abstain from homosexual relations does require celibacy for

some, but for others it leads to a happy traditional family that makes the homosexual person very

grateful for the commandment.