Letter to Representatives Regarding February Senate Border Bill

Dear Senator,

I was disappointed to see you did not support the bipartisan border security proposal earlier this month. The bill is clearly progress. It increases the administration’s capacity and obligation to enforce the law, creates a clear and legal point at which the border can be shut down entirely, and allows more applicants for asylum to work legally (as opposed to the current system where they must work illegally for six months or rely on public support). If you are concerned that the current administration simply will not enforce the law, it is surprising that more legal challenges have not been pursued. Last year, in U.S. v. Texas, a majority of the Supreme Court, including justices nominated by Democratic and Republican presidents, expressed there would likely be standing to sue “if the Executive Branch wholly abandoned its statutory responsibilities” related to immigration. A clearer law allowing a shutdown of the border would make that case even stronger. 

I am not convinced, however, that the current administration is willfully allowing chaos to reign at the border, and in fact it seems clear that getting a better handle on the border would improve approval ratings for the president. I fear that Representative Nehls’s response to the bill may reflect the response of some senators: “I will not help the Democrats try to improve this man’s dismal approval ratings.” Or worse, some senators may simply fear criticism of former President Trump. It is sadly ironic that the former president, who supposedly has border security as his strong point, may be the reason that a bill to improve the border is not passing. Donald Trump, and those who follow his lead, apparently only want an improved border if Donald Trump will get credit for it.

Some Republicans clearly fly figurative (or literal) pro-Trump or anti-Biden flags above the American flag, and perhaps you cannot do right by them unless you do whatever increases Donald Trump's chances of winning. But as stated by James Madison in Federalist 10, our constitutional system is set up to “refine and enlarge the public views, by passing them through the medium of a chosen body of citizens, whose wisdom may best discern the true interest of their country, and whose patriotism and love of justice will be least likely to sacrifice it to temporary or partial considerations.”

Perhaps the situation is more complicated than I realize, but it seems to me that a simple policy of supporting bills that improve the law would do a lot of good for our country. The game of waiting for a bill that does “enough” to improve border security seems to be a never ending game.

As for me and many individuals that I know, including many other Republicans, we would like to see improvement of the immigration laws even if a perfect solution cannot be reached yet. I sadly see what James Madison hoped would be alleviated by our constitutional system, that leaders “of factious tempers, of local prejudices, or of sinister designs, may, by intrigue, by corruption, or by other means, first obtain the suffrages, and then betray the interests, of the people.” We must be above simply going along with antagonistic attitudes, avoiding “factions” as the Founding Fathers would say.

The current chaos at the border has real negative consequences on real people.  Fentanyl and other dangerous drugs flood our country, killing many young people before their prime.  Cities previously unaffected such as New York City face devastating economic and logistical problems. True asylum seekers are swallowed up in a clogged system.  Border states are overwhelmed without the help they deserve from the federal government.  If this deal is weaker than some wish, and Donald Trump can do better, he should win an election and work with congress to make another bill that strengthens the border even further.  But until then, Congress should do its job and stop playing politics with people’s lives in order to appease Mr. Trump.

I feel this bill, or something similar that could be accepted by a bipartisan majority, would save lives of people around us, by decreasing dangerous drugs that cross the border, and would help people fleeing persecution to start their lives here in a responsible and safe way—working legally for an employer who follows immigration and labor laws. I believe these people are children of God, and deserve to have us work for these changes, not months down the road when new legislators and administrations might do something that one party thinks is even better, but right now.

Thank you for your service, and I will pray for you in your efforts to help our country.

Rees Atkins

Pros and Cons of Fake-it-til-you-make-it

For many years I have been interested by the idea of fake-it-til-you-make-it. I get hung up on binary moral questions, so perhaps it has caught my attention because I’m wondering “is it good or bad to fake-it-til-you-make-it?” Faking is usually bad . . . but smiling and having good actions is usually good. Of course, when and how this particular catch phrase should be applied is nuanced, and I thought it would be worth my time to dive in.

For succinctness, we'll say fityomi (fake it til you make it).

An example of an extreme (though unfortunately not uncommon) adherence to fityomi would be never talking about your stresses, not even with God, because you hope that by pretending things are good they’ll be good. When I was on a mission to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ in Guatemala, I had an experience that helped me learn to be open with God, including sharing my negative feelings. We had something called a zone conference, where our mission president gave us instruction and encouragement. At one particular zone conference early in my mission, he encouraged us to stop every family we passed to share the gospel with them. That felt very overwhelming to me, because we passed a lot of families, and had a lot of places to go. He also laughed about another piece of advice that was given at the conference, advice to avoid stress to help our health. He commented that life is stress, or something along those lines. That evening, one of the families that my companion and I stopped was the Piche family; we got their address, and I’ll share more about them later. 

That night as I prayed, I openly shared with the Lord that I felt stressed. It was somewhat out of character for me. I had given thanks, and prayed for help in my duties, and for comfort, and for forgiveness, for something. This time I just shared my current real feelings. I felt enveloped in love, and like things would be okay.

Visiting the Piche family with my family

We ended up teaching the Piche family, and I have returned to Guatemala twice to stay with them, and to this day they are some of my best friends. Relevant to this article, I needed the stressful encouragement from my mission president to stop more families, because I would very likely not have stopped them without that encouragement, and I was not mature enough to take that encouragement without it being stressful. But that does not mean that I needed to endure my feelings alone. The Lord was more than willing to comfort me, meet me where I was, and lead me along.

That experience and others, especially with sharing concerns with my wife and receiving her support and comfort, lead me to believe that fityomi is bad insofar as it stops us from sharing openly and receiving support from those who are close to us.

All of that said, while writing this article my overall conclusion is that a little more fityomi would actually be good for me. I vigorously tried it one night when my wife and I were having some tension. We were on the verge of a downward spiral of both feeling misunderstood. I think my normal response to the situation would have led to many tears from my wife and frustrated or guilty feelings by me, with a potential make-up talk happening long after I wish I was in bed. Instead, I acted happy, kind, and non-defensive, the opposite of what I was feeling, and the feelings quickly lined up with my behavior so that we could have some pleasant time together and a reasonable bedtime.

Do we sometimes learn from experiences of both sharing negative feelings, eventually arriving at more understanding of each other, and rejoicing in having overcome the negative experience? Yes, but sometimes what we learn is to act in a way that avoids a repeat of the same experience, perhaps by temporarily discounting our negative feelings. So, when negative feelings are hot and I think to myself “things like this will never stop if I don’t let her know how I’m feeling right now,” I can recall that speaking in anger has not been the best option in the past, and that a little fityomi can get me to a better point.

Outside of marriage, fityomi comes more naturally, since I have my guard up more with those I’m less close to. Having my guard up has pros and cons. I’m less likely to give destructive criticism to somebody, but I might lose the opportunity to grow close to others. Fityomi might need to be reduced to allow me to share what is hard for me, being vulnerable, to promote a relationship where each person can help the other with struggles. Fityomi might need to be increased to prevent me from, for example, always acting in accordance with the rushed feelings that I often have at work. Asking a thoughtful question to a coworker, even when I’d rather be getting a to-do done in my office, helps with our long-term working and personal relationship. 

With my children, my default feelings tend to be a little lower energy than is ideal, so a little fityomi can help me get out of a sleepy slump and start enjoying some precious playtime with them. Every once in a while, however, if sick or extremely exhausted, I find that sharing sincere affection and then requesting a lower-energy activity like reading a book or crawling on a couch-laying daddy is acceptable to them.

I sometimes cringe from acting more positive than I'm feeling. I know certain people who I admire but of whom I've witnessed brief moments of off-putting forced or strained kindness. But perhaps their habit of seeking to be kind has led them to be the generally admirable and sincerely kind people they are. Certainly, occasional shortfalls in ourselves or others shouldn't stop us from trying to act better than we're feeling.

I believe that fityomi can be one way of exercising faith in Jesus Christ, not just faith in myself, and repenting. It acknowledges that my current feelings are not as important as my ongoing commitment to follow Jesus Christ, and my belief that He can change me from who I currently am into somebody more like Him. Jesus overcame temptation, doing what was right even when there were reasons to be more harsh or unresponsive. I don't know what He felt, but I believe thinking of Him and acting like Him will help me have feelings more like His, feelings of love, compassion, and an eventual fullness of joy. 

Like other helpful principles, fityomi is better when not taken to an extreme. These two scriptures from The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ help show the balance. The first is about overcoming some of our natural tendencies, and the second is about recognizing our current level of strength as we set our pace. 

“[T]he natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” (Mosiah 3:19).

“And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.” (Mosiah 4:27).

Over time, I believe our commitment to follow Jesus Christ will transform us into authentically kind people, true friends with Jesus Christ and each other.