Monday, October 12, 2015

Why I Believe

Recently, I had an experience that made me reflect upon why I believe in God. While teaching a girl from China, two missionaries asked me to share why I believe in God. I mumbled something, but could certainly clarify my thoughts on the topic, which I have tried to do with this post.

One reason that I believe in God is that I believe that the Book of Mormon, which testifies of Him, is true. I don't believe that Joseph Smith could have come up with such a book on his own. The logical part of my brain tells me that such a book, with principles that have been proven true in my life, and with stories and sermons that are so complex and yet simply beautiful, such a book was not conceived by an uneducated 19th century boy.

But as convincing as the Book of Mormon is to me, I can say little from an unbiased scientific point of view, because I want this book, which teaches that God exists, to be true. In my econometrics classes I learned that we shouldn't be trying to get the data to say what we want it to say; we are simply looking at what it says and seeing if it's interesting.
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But my search for spiritual truth is not objective, it is subjective. I want my reason for and result of searching to be because God loves me and I love Him. My desires are an important part of my spiritual journey, not just sideline variables to be controlled for.

Perhaps this is why the Savior told Thomas, "blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed." I think that I can more fully show my love for God when I follow Him without cold hard evidence of His existence.

My love for God is sometimes inconsistent, and so I am grateful for the ways that He helps me to keep believing. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I have made covenants or commitments with God. So even when my faith seems weak, I remember that I "no longer stand on neutral ground. [My] faith will grow not by chance, but by choice." (Elder Anderson)

And so another reason that I believe is that I want to. Circular reasoning? Perhaps, but if achieving my greatest hopes requires moving beyond what my logical mind can understand at this time, that is okay with me.

I have also seen blessings from belief. I have never been happy about a decision made contrary to my belief in God, and I have never regretted a decision made in accordance with that belief. Living and sharing the gospel makes life rich. So I plan to go right on believing and loving forever.



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