Anxiety and COVID-19 Laws

COVID-19 laws have made more pronounced a problem that I have had for several years. I'll talk about that problem generally first, and then about COVID-19 specifically.

In the past month or so I decided to start referring to a certain aspect of my life as “anxiety.” I am doing so not so much to help others understand me, though that hopefully happens too, but to understand myself. Previously, rather than talking about anxiety I just talked about how I don’t like moral dilemmas. However, that phrasing risks misunderstanding the fact that I love morality, as taught by God’s commandments. 

God’s commandments bless me, each of them individually and all of them collectively. Many of my blog articles point out ways I have received blessings from specific commandments. And striving to live all of God’s commandments brings me peace and helps me to progress. 

Determining what behavior each commandment requires in my individual circumstances, however, is not fun to me. In some situations, I feel panicked and almost incapacitated as I determine what my moral obligation is. 

For many years, it has been the case once the decision is over and irreversible, I feel at peace. And if I feel that I did not do my best to make a good decision, then I repent, and through the Atonement of Jesus Christ I feel peace. I do not feel guilty or agonize about whether the past decision was correct or not. I figure I did my best and just feel grateful that the decision is no longer in front of me. However, I can (or at least did) sometimes feel as though I only make good decisions in order to minimize my anxiety, since I feel more anxiety when I’m going in the direction I believe is wrong than when I’m going in the direction I believe is right.

Unfortunately, my new label “anxiety” has not eliminated difficulty in decision-making. However, here are five things it has done: 

1) I no longer blame God for these difficulties. He does not give me decision-making stress by sending me commandments. Rather, He gives me helpful commandments, respects my freedom to choose, and as part of my challenging and educational mortal experience that I chose to have here on Earth, I sometimes have to deal with “anxiety” as I navigate His commandments and my freedom.

2) I have come to learn that what I can control is my attitude regarding my anxiety. Perhaps, as a mixture of blessing and curse (burden? trial? challenge?), my anxiety compels me to make certain good choices. But my anxiety does not compel me to make good decisions cheerfully, with gratitude towards God and goodwill towards those around me. So, by slapping a smile on my naturally indecision-tortured face, I can know that I’m going the extra mile, because I love God and want my attitude to be a blessing to those around me.

3) I recognize that my anxiety (formerly called moral dilemmas as discussed above, which may help this point make more sense) does not make me better or worse than anybody else. Agonizing more than most about what is right does not mean I am more righteous than others, which would be both a painful and prideful situation. Rather, I know that part of the glorious learning that God has planned for me involves dealing with anxiety with as much grace and love as I can.

4) Having a label helps me to find resources for dealing with anxiety more easily and to connect with the experiences of others who I have heard use the label “anxiety.”

5) Most importantly, I have learned to rely on Christ not only for mistakes, over which I may focus too much sometimes, but to help me with the unsinful “affliction” of anxiety. I better understand why the latter-day Apostle David A. Bednar emphasizes that Christ does not just redeem us from sin, but rather He suffered “pains and afflictions and temptations” so that He can “succor his people according to their infirmities.” See Alma 7:11-12.

Anxiety with the Law

Now don’t think you’re getting away with just hearing about my problems and how I can deal with them. I have also thought of how the world might change to accomodate me and my problems. Semi-kidding (kidding because I know that’s a silly thing to say, not kidding because I’m now going to share the thoughts that I kiddingly said I would share.)

A broadly sweeping commandment that I believe God has given is to obey the law of the land. With the suddenness and pervasiveness of COVID-19 guidelines and laws, I have experienced considerable anxiety regarding how to act, and I don't think I'm alone. (But the extra family time has been nice!)

Governor Little on the Twin Falls County Courthouse steps

Business Regulations

With covid-19 laws regulating businesses, obviously there is an economic tradeoff for businesses being closed, and striking that balance is a difficult task. I can’t imagine the anxiety some must have felt and be feeling due to a lack of employment. Those laws have been enforced, and their effects were measurable and felt by all. Due to the widespread negative effects of those laws, I believe there was appropriate resistance to those laws. Lawmakers presumably take into account complaints about unemployment and concerns regarding COVID-19, and try to strike a balance accordingly. I don’t really have an opinion about whether the business shutdowns went too far or not far enough. (But if you do, let me know!)

Social/Private Regulations

COVID-19 laws regulating more private, social behavior are very different, because I don’t believe they were enforced. While at least some of the official orders stated that violations could be punished as misdemeanors, I doubt that law enforcement knocked on anybody’s door to make sure only household members were present. I would be even more surprised if anybody was punished for who they socialized with or for not being six feet from others, despite the fact that violations were surely common.

A problem with unenforced laws is that people who don’t feel an obligation to obey the laws do not mind them. Therefore, there is a disproportionately small amount of resistance to those laws’ problems. So ridiculous situations might arise, like people considering becoming part of the same household in order to meet the criteria of only being with those of the same household, even though increased household sizes would defeat the germ isolation purpose of the laws. Those who want to obey laws regardless of “getting caught” will either abide by laws they think are misguided or feel guilty by not doing so. More likely, they’ll do an awkward mix of those two options.

Something COVID-19 has not messed with is the Pride and Prejudice book club I'm doing with some family!

Part of the “rule of law” that good societies enjoy is that laws are regularly enforced. The laws are also made democratically, meaning most people find the laws to be useful to society, and so people want the laws enforced. 

In the rare situations when lawmakers do not think that a certain policy is really enforceable (like when it involves individuals’ very private lives), I think it should be called a guideline. Additionally, the relatively vague terms like “reasonable” or “disregarding substantial risks” could be used more often, whether in guidelines or laws. (I think it would be better for COVID-19 laws to be something like this: “Do not associate with any individuals outside of your household unless you are reasonably certain that they have not been around large gatherings or people with covid-19.” Or “Disregarding substantial risks as related to interactions with at-risk individuals is punishable as a misdemeanor.”) 

These terms allow people to do what they think is reasonable and not feel anxious about whether they’re disobeying the law. While such terms may seem easily abusable, they are already often used in the law. In order to win a lawsuit, a person often has to prove that the defendant had a duty to act like a “reasonable person” in a certain situation and that the defendant failed to do so. The jury determines whether the person behaved reasonably, and so people can’t use a feigned subjective belief that their unreasonable behavior was reasonable, because the jury decides. Thus, if a person’s anxiety is about whether they will be found guilty by the court system of breaking a law, then such phrasing in the law will not help. But for those who feel anxious because they believe we should obey all laws, even those we don’t think make perfect sense, including terms like “reasonable” or “disregarding substantial risks” can still allow the government to send a message yet not risk imposing ill-fitting or inappropriate laws that are insufficiently resisted since only a few people pay attention to them.

I would sincerely love to hear your thoughts on what I’ve shared regarding the law. Additionally, perhaps seeing and critiquing my specific law analysis can help you and me to realize that political laws will never be perfect, and so anxious and non-anxious people alike can best focus their attention on Jesus Christ, who will help us as we try to improve and live in this imperfect world. I am at the beginning of a journey in which, with Christ’s comforting and inspiring help, I will learn to handle my anxiety better. For now, it’s nice to have a word for it so that I can learn more and express these ideas.  

See https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/get-help/mental-health for helpful mental health information.